What to do if your toddler doesn't want to sleep?

In the following situations, your toddler is likely getting too little sleep:

• your toddler is difficult to wake up in the morning
• your toddler falls asleep in the car
• your toddler is overstimulated
• your toddler shows hyperactive behavior
• your toddler falls asleep earlier than usual

Occasional night waking will not cause many problems for your child, but chronic sleep deprivation can have unpleasant consequences. It can, for example, lead to:

• Behavioral problems
• Concentration disorders
• Problems at school
• Overweight
• Growth delay

There are various causes that make your toddler not sleep well. Below we explain them.

Your toddler doesn't want to sleep because they are not tired

Your child's sleep needs change as he or she gets older. In addition, the level of activity during the day is related to the sleep level at night.

On average, a child up to 2.5-3.5 years old needs a nap. But if he or she sleeps too long or too late in the afternoon, it is likely that falling asleep in the evening will be difficult. Let your child sleep 1.5-2 hours at the beginning of the afternoon so that he or she also falls asleep well in the evening. If your toddler has trouble falling asleep, try going to bed half an hour later to see if it makes a difference.

Your toddler doesn't want to sleep because they are sick

Even when your toddler is sick, this can cause poor nights. Fortunately, this often passes on its own. You may give your toddler some extra attention if he or she sleeps poorly due to illness, but make sure to return to your normal routine as soon as possible. You don't want your toddler to get used to it and therefore continue to sleep worse.

Your toddler doesn't want to sleep because they have had too much screen time

More and more parents use a tablet or TV to entertain their toddler. Nothing wrong with that, as long as screen time remains limited. Especially avoid letting your child look at screens two hours before bedtime. The blue light from screens inhibits the production of melatonin – the sleep hormone – and can make falling asleep more difficult. Moreover, screen use before bedtime can lead to restless or anxious behavior.

Your toddler doesn't want to sleep because they are experiencing too many changes

A lot changes in a toddler's life. For instance, he or she may be going to preschool for the first time or getting a little brother or sister. But also the departure of their favorite daycare worker, the death of a grandparent, or tension at home are many changes a toddler can experience. These changes can manifest as resistance and defiance, also at bedtime. Talk as much as possible with your child, acknowledge that their emotions are very normal, make the bedtime routine a bit longer, and spend (extra) time cuddling.

Your toddler doesn't want to sleep because their body is changing

A toddler's body also undergoes many changes. For example, growing pains can cause your child to sleep poorly. But stomach aches are also common in toddlers. It can be quite a search, but sometimes with a simple solution. When in doubt, consult the doctor.

In toddlers, fantasy and reality often mix. That's why it's very likely that a toddler imagines a witch or ghost in his or her room. Toddlers also process impressions they get during the day that they can't place in their dreams. This sometimes causes nightmares. They can suddenly be afraid of the dark and no longer want to sleep with the door closed.

Make sure you don't read exciting books before bedtime and leave a small light on in the hallway. Use imagination to process scary thoughts. For example, you can chase away ghosts with special 'ghost spray,' so your toddler can sleep peacefully again.

Toddlers naturally explore boundaries. This is part of their development and creating their own will. As annoying as it sometimes is, toddlers are persistent, especially if they see a chance to start a mental power struggle with their parents. It is good to make clear agreements during this phase about going to bed and the number of books you read.

If your toddler doesn't want to sleep and keeps getting out of bed, provide a reminder of what you agreed on. It can help to work with a sleep trainer and a reward system. Setting boundaries and being consistent leads to success, no matter how difficult it sometimes is.

How long can I let my toddler cry when falling asleep?

If your toddler cries to get their way, don't go back immediately. Agree with yourself and your partner how long you will let the toddler cry. A guideline is at least 3 to a maximum of 15 minutes. If your child keeps crying, go back to the room and try to calm your child in a neutral way. You can do this by, for example, sitting on your knees by the bed, giving a kiss and a stroke on the head, and calmly repeating what the bedtime ritual is.

When your child cries, don't let yourself be swayed or tempted to pick them up, get angry, or be overly sweet and enthusiastic. A neutral attitude works best.

If your toddler doesn't want to sleep, we have a few tips for you.

1. Avoid too many stimuli in one day

Avoid too many stimuli during the day and especially not right before going to sleep. Busy rough-and-tumble games and (busy) TV images right before bedtime make it harder for children to fall asleep.

But too many stimuli during the day also cause your toddler to sleep less well. Don't expose your toddler too much to impressions that don't match his or her age. If you notice that your toddler sleeps poorly in the evening, try to avoid some stimuli the next day.

2. Wind down the day with a calm period

A toddler has a lot to process. It can be very helpful to let your toddler end the day with a calm period with few stimuli. A weighted blanket for toddlers can help well with this. Under this blanket, your toddler feels secure and calms down.

In addition, you can create a calm period yourself by moving calmly and speaking softly and less. A warm shower or massage can also be relaxing, followed by quietly playing in the room for a little while with soothing toys, not too bright light, and possibly soft, calm music.

3. Let your toddler tell a story about his or her day

Because toddlers have many thoughts throughout the day, it can help to let him or her tell a story at the end of the day. For younger children, you can also calmly review the day yourself.

4. Be a team as parents

It may sound obvious, but if you as parents are not on the same page, there will be no clarity for your toddler. The general approach described above can be a guideline to apply. Make sure you are a team and also divide the tasks.

5. Determine the daily rhythm as well as the bedtime rhythm

Toddlers love a clear structure. Create a clear daily schedule that gives your child a rhythm. In addition, you signal that you as a parent determine the rhythm.

More and more parents are discovering the benefits of a weighted blanket to help their toddler sleep better. But how do you choose a weighted blanket for a toddler? It's important to choose the right weight for your toddler. You can use our rule of thumb: take about 10% of your toddler's body weight. Many occupational therapists recommend adding 0.5 kg to 1 kg to this.

Make sure your toddler can push the weighted blanket off themselves. If this is not yet the case, then a weighted blanket is not the right choice for now. Want to know more about weighted blankets for children? Then read our blog article ‘A weighted blanket for your child? Here's what you need to know’.

Are you at your wit's end and nothing really helps your toddler sleep better? Then it's definitely not strange to seek (short-term) professional help for sleep problems. Problems often only get worse due to poor sleep. A few simple tips from an outsider can be very enlightening.

We hope this article has given you a bit more clarity about your toddler's sleep rhythm and that the tips help you improve your toddler's sleep quality.