What to do if your toddler doesn't want to sleep?

In the following situations, your toddler is likely getting too little sleep:

• your toddler has difficulty waking up in the morning
• your toddler falls asleep in the car
• your toddler is overstimulated
• your toddler shows hyperactive behavior
• your toddler falls asleep earlier than normal

A single night of staying up late won't cause too many problems for your child, but chronic sleep deprivation can have unpleasant consequences. It can, for example, lead to:

• Behavioral problems
• Concentration disorders
• Problems at school
• Overweight
• Growth delay

There are various causes that can make your toddler not sleep well. Below we explain them.

Your toddler doesn't want to sleep because they are not tired

Your child's sleep needs change as they grow older. Additionally, the level of activity during the day is related to the sleep level at night.

On average, a child aged 2.5-3.5 years needs an afternoon nap. But if they sleep too long or too late in the afternoon, there's a good chance they won't be able to sleep in the evening. Let your child sleep for 1.5-2 hours at the beginning of the afternoon, so they can also fall asleep well in the evening. If your toddler has difficulty falling asleep, see what difference going to bed half an hour later makes.

Your toddler doesn't want to sleep because they are sick

Even when your toddler is sick, this can lead to poor nights. Fortunately, this often resolves on its own. You can give your toddler a bit of extra attention if they are sleeping poorly due to illness, but make sure to return to your normal routine as soon as possible. You don't want your toddler to get used to it and continue sleeping poorly.

Your toddler doesn't want to sleep because they have had too much screen time

More and more parents are using a tablet or TV to entertain their toddler. There's nothing wrong with that, as long as it stays within limited screen time. Make sure your child doesn't look at screens for at least two hours before bedtime. The blue light from screens inhibits the production of melatonin – the sleep hormone – and can make falling asleep more difficult. Moreover, screen use before bedtime can lead to restless or anxious behavior.

Your toddler doesn't want to sleep because they are experiencing too many changes

A lot changes in a toddler's life. For example, he or she may go to the toddler playgroup for the first time or get a little brother or sister. But also the departure of his or her favorite daycare worker, the death of a grandpa or grandma, or tension at home are many changes a toddler can experience. These changes can manifest as resistance and rebellion, also at bedtime. Talk as much as possible with your child, acknowledge that his or her emotions are completely normal, make the bedtime routine a bit longer, and spend (extra) time cuddling.

Your toddler doesn't want to sleep because their body is changing

The body of a toddler also undergoes many changes. For example, growing pains can cause your child to sleep poorly. But stomach aches are also common in toddlers. It can be quite a search, but sometimes with a simple solution. If in doubt, consult the doctor.

With toddlers, imagination and reality often blur together. Therefore, it is very plausible that a toddler imagines a witch or ghost in his or her room. Toddlers also process the impressions they gather during the day, which they cannot place, in their dreams. This can sometimes cause nightmares. They may suddenly be afraid of the dark and no longer want to sleep with the door closed.

Make sure you do not read exciting books before bedtime and leave a small light on in the hallway. Use imagination to process scary thoughts as well. For example, you can chase away ghosts with special 'ghost spray' so that your toddler can sleep well again afterwards.

Toddlers naturally explore boundaries. This is part of their development and the creation of their own will. As annoying as it sometimes is, toddlers are persistent, especially when they see a chance to start a mental showdown with their parents. It is good to make clear agreements about going to bed and the number of books you read aloud during this phase.

If your toddler does not want to sleep and keeps getting out of bed, provide a reminder of what you have agreed upon. It can help to work with a sleep trainer and a reward system. Setting boundaries and being consistent leads to success, no matter how difficult it sometimes is.

How long can I let my toddler cry when falling asleep?

Is your toddler crying to get their way? Then do not go back immediately. Agree with yourself and your partner on how long you will let the toddler cry. A guideline is at least 3 to a maximum of 15 minutes. If your child continues to cry, go back to the room and try to calm your child in a neutral way. You can do this by sitting on your knees by the bed, giving a kiss and a pat on the head, and calmly repeating what the bedtime ritual is.

When your child is crying, do not give in and be tempted to pick them up, get angry, or be overly sweet and enthusiastic. A neutral attitude works best.

If your toddler does not want to sleep, we have a few tips for you.

1. Avoid too many stimuli in one day

Ensure that there are not too many stimuli during the day and certainly not just before going to sleep. Busy play activities and (busy) television images just before bedtime make it harder for children to fall asleep.

But too many stimuli during the day also cause your toddler to sleep less well. Do not expose your toddler to impressions that are not suitable for his or her age. If you notice that your toddler sleeps poorly in the evening, try to avoid more stimuli the next day.

2. Wind down the day with a calm period

A toddler has a lot to process. It can be very helpful to let your toddler end the day with a calm period with few stimuli. A weighted blanket for toddlers can help with this. Under this blanket, your toddler feels secure and calms down.

Additionally, you can create a calm period by moving slowly and speaking softly and less. A warm shower or massage can also be relaxing, followed by a quiet time in the room to play with soothing toys, not too bright lights, and possibly soft, calming music.

3. Let your toddler tell a story about their day

Because toddlers have many thoughts throughout the day, it can help to let them tell a story at the end of the day. For younger children, you can also calmly go through the day yourself.

4. Be a team as parents

It may sound logical, but if you as parents are not on the same page, there will be no clarity for your toddler. The general approach described above can serve as a guideline that can be applied. Make sure you are a team and also divide the tasks.

5. Determine the daily rhythm alongside the bedtime rhythm

Toddlers love a clear structure. Create a clear daily schedule that gives your child a rhythm. Additionally, you signal that you as a parent determine the rhythm.

More and more parents are discovering the benefits of a weighted blanket to help their toddler sleep better. But how do you choose a weighted blanket for a toddler? It's important to choose the right weight for your toddler. You can follow our rule of thumb: take about 10% of your toddler's body weight. Many occupational therapists recommend adding 0.5 kg to 1 kg to this.

Please note that your toddler can push the weighted blanket off themselves. If this is not yet the case, then a weighted blanket is not the right choice for now. Want to know more about weighted blankets for children? Then read our blog article ‘A weighted blanket for your child? This is what you need to know’.

Are you at your wit's end and nothing seems to help your toddler sleep better? Then it's certainly not strange to seek (short-term) professional help for sleep problems. Issues often only get bigger due to poor sleep. A few simple tips from an outsider can be very enlightening.

We hope this article has given you a bit more clarity about your toddler's sleep rhythm and that the tips help you improve your toddler's sleep quality.